Change, Loss and New Beginnings

At age 58, soon to be 59, one would think I would be able to handle change, otherwise known as transition or limbo!  Just look at my life’s statistics!

• By age 35, I had moved 16 times in my life and everywhere I went, I brought my kid’s art creations, clothing which I deemed special and memorable toys and videos!
• By age 37 I had lived in three countries and learned five languages.
• By age 40 I had gone to nine different schools and studied 21 years—I should have more than a Bachelor’s degree!

Through each time of transition, I would get agitated and anxious.  I just want to be settled down.  Terry and I are quite content and settled where we are right now.  What could be causing us to think of a move?

Loss

As God would have it, I am facing loss.  I still am grappling with the diagnosis of eosinophilic asthma and as I sit alone with a mask on my face, not fearing the coronavirus, but pollen, my heart goes out to those who have had chronic conditions for years. This loss is a big one for me.  I have been a nurse who cared for the sick.  I am not used to being on the other side!

Terry and I have decided, for the betterment of my health, we will be needing to face more change, a move from Phoenix, which leads to loss once more.  I don’t want to lose the proximity I have with my grandson!  I have dreamt of taking him to the “Splishy-splash” and “Choo-choo”, the splash pad and train at our local park.  I don’t want to lose the “Sam’s Club Dates” I have had with my daughter, Karen.  I don’t want to lose the spontaneous talks in the driveway with our neighbors, Joe and Pam.  I have loved opening our home to our friends from church each Sunday evening.  I don’t want to say goodbye to our beautiful home which God has blessed us with to entertain house guests and housed the Global CHE Network office for the past ten years.

As I repeat “I don’t want” over and over,  I know God has a plan.  It just is hard when you cannot see it yet.

New Beginnings

How do you know God is working?  When you see new beginnings.  I have been working as a nurse these last 20 years.  Because of my chronic breathing problems, I was just granted long term disability.  This was never in my plan, but it has released me to be able to be with Terry and help him with communications.  This is a blessing.

We came to Payson in February because I can breathe better outside of the Valley pollution and pollens.  Terry and I have enjoyed walks by the city lake.  We have formed many acquaintances, even a friendship or two, around this lake in the midst of Covid-19.  God is opening up a new home for us directly across from the lake.  I can see a smaller pond from my living room window with the ducks that our dogs, Mollie and Maisie, love to herd! This is a blessing.

Maneuvering through Change

So, I ask for prayer as we make this transition and a huge downsize.  Remember all those kid’s creations I mentioned?  Clothing, toys and artwork?  They have been across the Pacific and back and they now are about to be discarded!  Videos?  They are ancient history…even DVDs!  Terry and I were able to move frequently with ease as newlyweds, even with babies in tow.  We never knew the challenge of moving with aching backs and respiratory issues!  Gone are the days of youth!

Change, Loss, New Beginnings…very much a part of every person’s life.  I am glad for the security of a loving husband by my side.  I know that the God who led Abraham and the children of Israel in their wanderings can do the same for me!